You don't need a shirt in the wintertime, just sunglasses.

I get the feeling he's just begging to be on here.

I'm like fuckin' Grady Sizemore except I'm fuckin' Jewish! Shalom!

Reasonable people may disagree (courtesy of thejjmg)

Maybe if you distract them with the brand of your underwear they won't notice the total mess behind you.

Seriously, is that $3.50 in quarters back there?

You're clearly not a douche if three disembodied hands want to grope you.

Marshall Adams the first called, he says if you pop your collar you owe him royalties

Hey bloggobros, check out this totally rad website to catch the reference.

Suck it, California health code!

It's an Elvis / Fall Out Boy theme party

DISCLAIMER: I don't see how this guy's a douche.

Submission courtesy of @thejjmg

Chinstrap beard + hybrid hairstyle of every blond vampire ever = trying too hard.

That means "I hate you" in everything but British.

Submission courtesy of @thejjmg
Honorable mention: "I think he's talking about us!

That means "I hate you" in British.

This is for once I run out of Jolt!

I've been sent back from the fyoocha to protect this tiny coffee cup.

Bitch please?

If you stare into my belly button for too long you go blind.

Probably the best shirt you can wear on a predominantly gay exhibition site.

No, see, there's not actually any lenses, I just wear these for the really awesome frame!

I can hold my breath for a minute straight. Someone's gotta think that's hot.

Submission courtesy of @thejjmg